Is it still called Post-Partum Depression when your baby is 8 years old?

I'm about to admit something crazy that may just blow your mind...my husband never wanted to be a parent.  And wait for it...neither did I.  But good Christians are taught to make good Christian babies. So we did.  Two kids later and you would think we'd have accepted the fact that we are, indeed, parents now.  God has blessed us with two beautiful little girls that are the epitome of both my husband and I.  (In both good ways and bad).  You'd think that'd we'd have it all figured out as Mom and Dad 8 years later.  That there would be days that go by where we aren't completely consumed by stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy.  But there aren't.  Like, at all.

For two glorious days, my sweet (and brave!) sister-in-law took the girls for some cousin time.  That side of the family could be moving several states over any day now, so family time has become very precious to us.  That meant I got two whole days, in my own home, that didn't involve travelling, BY MYSELF.  I could sleep in, take a nap whenever I wanted, eat whenever and whatever I wanted (no sneakily eating that second cupcake in the closet), and follow my own schedule for once.  Do you think any of the above actually happened?  No (well, beside the eating two cupcakes part).  I woke up before dawn everyday, buzzed around with more energy than I knew what to do with, and then wasted said energy on reading a slightly inappropriate romance novel (hey, the writing was superb). To say the least, our short mini stay-cation was fantastic and relaxing with no pressure to perform as Mom and Dad.

But when we picked up our sleepy girls with their newly brightly painted toenails, all my old emotions came flooding back.  Emotions I had forgotten about because for the last almost 8 years they have been my "normal".  From the time the girls put on their seat belts and spoke their first words since being back in our care, I felt a tightness in my chest.  I had difficulty breathing.  I felt the start of a headache creep in on my forehead.  I felt anxious, on edge, inadequate, and fearful.  I felt geared up and ready for battle.  Ready to repeat myself at least ten times and stop a sibling fight before it even started.    Like a two ton Thomas the Train on my shoulders, I discovered the source of all my health problems in one fleeting moment.  The anxiety, stress, exhaustion, and headaches; its called Motherhood.  I ask you, is it still called Post-Partum Depression when they're nearly 8 years old?

Anyway, as the day wore on and I tucked them into bed WAY past their bedtime, I glanced at their half-asleep faces snuggled tight against their blankies, and in that brief moment there was peace. When the day is done and the crumbs swept up (or not) and the laundry folded (or not), there is peace in motherhood.  It's fleeting, but its there.  Its the little gift from God that reminds me that nobody died today despite the fact that I'm an imperfect mom who made a bunch of imperfect mistakes all day long.  A reminder that He was there calming those feelings of anxiety all along.  And strengthening my mom muscles against inadequacy at the same time.  A reminder that even though I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN tomorrow (blah), He'll be there for that too.  

Each new phase in life brings with it a whole new set of worries.  What I worry about in their lives now is temporary.  Next year I'll worry about something new.  Something to stress about or feel anxious about as a mom will probably always loom over me.  But the Lord will be looming there too. I know He'll still love them more that I ever could because His love is perfect and mine is not.  He'll also still calm my anxiety and re-store my sanity, all while these two little ladies call me Mom.

"He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge...You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor the arrow that flies by day..." Excerpt from Psalm 91.
"When my anxieties multiply, your comforting calms me down".  Psalm 94:19 (Common English Bible Version)